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At times, Jay Spring feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments can become “detached from reality”, he states. You feel invincible and you’re like, ‘People will see that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are often succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, during which he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his actions, making him highly sensitive to disapproval from those around him. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms on the internet – and eventually confirmed by a specialist. But, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t previously arrived at that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they harbor beliefs of dominance. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

Though people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, definitions vary what the term implies the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people keep it private, as there is so much stigma linked to the condition. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through things like displaying material goods,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Though a significant majority of people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder are men, studies suggests this statistic does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who posts about her dual diagnosis on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders appear together.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and rejection,” she explains, since when I’m told that the problem is me, I either go into defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Even with this reaction – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her past. I used to be manipulative to my partners during adolescence,” she admits. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her partner “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models as a child. “I’ve been learning all this time which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say when arguing because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my household were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting particular demands. They then “continue to use those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The adult says when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was in fact, her who originally considered he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

After a visit to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for talking therapy via government-funded care (extended treatment is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is probably going to be early next year.”

John has only told a handful of people about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he says. Those interviewed have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the development of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number